The AMI QT Devotionals from December 25-31 are written by Phillip Chen, college pastor at Church of Southland. Philip, a graduate of University of California, San Diego, is currently studying at Talbot School of Theology. He is married to Esther.
Devotional Thoughts for Today
“Looking into Deep Wounds”
Genesis 32:6-12 (ESV)
And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau, and he is coming to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him.” 7 Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed. He divided the people who were with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, 8 thinking, “If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, then the camp that is left will escape.” 9 And Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O LORD who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,’ 10 I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. 11 Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. 12 But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’”
In today’s passage, we see that Jacob is preparing for his encounter with Esau. Years have passed since their last meeting, and they are entirely different people at this point; but when Jacob hears that Esau is coming with four hundred men, immediately he assumes the worst. I can’t blame Jacob for feeling that way – after all, the last time Jacob had seen Esau, he had stolen his birthright and blessing from Isaac. So Isaac begins to make preparations, in case Esau is coming to attack him. Jacob then prays to God and asks for His protection. Regardless of the fact that God had promised him the same descendants as Abraham, he is insecure about the fact that Esau is about to come and wipe him and his family out. Jacob is a total mess, and I’m sure we would be too if we were in his place.
It’s interesting that some of our deepest insecurities easily override God’s promises in our lives. We may have encountered God in a powerful way and heard from Him directly. We might have even experienced a partial fulfillment of His promise in our lives – yet there are some insecurities that are buried so deep in our lives that they automatically override what God has done as well. The moment those insecurities or past wounds flare up, we forget entirely all that God has spoken into our lives. All of a sudden, we question whether we heard God correctly or whether He even said anything at all.
Our nature is not so different from Jacob’s – he’d been running away and hiding from his brother all these years. We all tend to run away from our previous wounds: sin, brokenness, insecurities, severed relationships. We would prefer to hide rather than address them, but I suppose what happens to Jacob is what ends up happening to all of us. There comes a point when we realize we can’t run or hide anymore, and we need to address our problems head on. When we finally confront them, we realize that doing so can be for our good and for our benefit.
Prayer: Father God, I confess that there are things that I am running away from. There are certain areas of brokenness that I just don’t want to deal with. There are wounds and hurts to which I may have numbed myself. There is so much buried deep within from which I need healing and restoration. May my spirit be open to your healing and your restoring hand upon my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
Bible Reading for Today: 1 Corinthians 11
Lunch Break Study
Read John 21:15-19 (ESV): When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16 He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. 18 Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” 19 (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”
Question to Consider
- Why does Jesus ask Simon Peter three times if he loves him?
- Why would Jesus tell Peter how he is going to die?
- What are some things that God is calling you to confront and how does he want you to confront them?
Notes
- Jesus is determined to restore Peter. He questions Peter three times just as Peter denied Jesus three times. He questioned whether Peter truly loves Him just as Peter probably questioned in His own heart whether he truly loved Jesus or not. Jesus wants to restore Peter not only personally, but to the ministry that He has called him to do – to feed his sheep, to be a fisher of men.
- Jesus has a customized plan for each one of us. When Peter asks about whether another disciple will be led to the cross (as he eventually would be), Jesus tells him not to worry about it… because Jesus has a custom-tailored discipleship plan for each individual. God knows exactly what we need and it looks different for each person.
- Remember, God has a customized discipleship plan for each one of us. Respond in a way that is personal for you.
Evening Reflection
What are some things that you might be running away from? It could be something from this past year, or even something that happened in your childhood. What are things that you are so fearful of? What are previous wounds that you are covering up? Bring these things to the Lord – ask Him to give you the strength to find restoration in these things.
Our church is notorious for having a lot of leftover snacks—from the leftover snacks of different retreats to the snacks that each of our ministries buy for future events, there is always food lying around somewhere. And what I’ve learned is to make sure to label everything, if I am saving it for something—otherwise, it will most definitely get eaten. Sometimes, even the snacks that are labeled get taken! So recently, I’ve started labeling our snacks with our ministry name, and then adding the line: “Please do not take, God is watching you.” Hopefully, this will deter whoever has been taking my snacks. I might not be there to protect these snacks from being stolen, but God is watching. The funny thing is, more often than not, this is a great deterrent.
In Quantico, a TV show that I recently started watching, the setting of the story is at The Farm—a covert training facility for the CIA, where the CIA operative recruits are trained to deceive others and develop alternative personalities for their missions. It’s insane to think that there are people who can be so skilled at deception, to the point where you could not tell their true story from their cover story. Though you and I may not be professional liars, it’s probably fair to say that we’ve told our share of white lies.
When I was a kid, I would throw temper tantrums if I felt like I was being mistreated. Once, some family friends were over and we were playing video games. It was my turn to play, but my friend would not give up the controller. Feeling slighted, I could not let this injustice to continue unaddressed. So I ended up wrestling with him and eventually biting him because he wouldn’t let go of the controller. Today, I am proud to say I handle any injustice committed against me in a much milder manner.
Good morning! Since it is Christmas Eve, I thought I’d break from our Genesis study to give us a little Christmas devotional. But a little warning—this might seem like a series of random thoughts, but it’ll come together in the end.
Christmas, which is, of course, the day we celebrate the incarnation of our Lord and Savior, is only two days away. For most families, this is a time to enjoy one another, and for most children, it’s a day when many wishes become reality. In our household—at least for one four-year-old— Christmas is going to be a day of reckoning, and perhaps utter disappointment. You see, about six months ago, whenever we’d go out on errands to places like Target, my youngest son Jon would find junk that interested him and would ask us to buy it for him. Now a good parent would simply say no, and deal with the ensuing tantrum until the child has learned not to react so childishly. However, my wife and I aren’t always good parents, so instead of just saying no, we’ve developed the habit of saying, “Maybe we’ll get that for your birthday or Christmas.” After a few times, Jon’s picked up on this and just asks at stores, “Can we get this for my next birthday or Christmas?”
I live in a town where high school sports are pretty huge; and as a trickle down effect, youth sports seem to be more important than they should be. So in my son’s and daughter’s 1st and 2nd grade teams, we have our fair share of crazy dads (as well as some coaches) who takes their children’s games a little too seriously. As I’ve gotten a chance to know a few of these overly enthusiastic parents, a fairly common back story has emerged: for many of these parents, high school sports were a highlight of their life. I don’t mean to make these people sound sad—this is generally not the case—but I do think that they would like to relive the “glory days” through their children’s accomplishments on the athletic field.
One of my favorite social games is Scattergories. If you’ve never played, the premise is that at random, all players will get a category and a letter of the alphabet; and you have to come up with items that fit the category that starts with the letter. For example, if the category is “comic characters” and the letter is B, Batman would be an easy answer. But here’s the catch: you only get points for unique answers, so if other contestants used Batman, too, no one would get points from that answer. What makes the game fun is that if you come up with an “out of the box” type answer, you have to convince other players of its validity, and by “convince,” I mean argue. My wife hates playing Scattergories with me—she says that I cheat. Case in point: the last time we played, the category was “type of footwear” and the letter was F. I gave the answer, “Famous Footwear” (you get double points for double alliteration), which is footwear store vs. a specific footwear brand. Anyway, I argued passionately for that one, but ultimately got overruled by my collaborating, narrow-minded co-contestants. If you are the type of person who is good at grasping at straws and twisting reality, then this is your type of game.
My wife and I recently purchased our first home. I don’t know if it’s always like this, but I feel like our home buying process was not the most civil affair—the seller and I fought over everything, from the price of the house, to repairs, to appliances, etc. To make matters worse, during the final walk through on the day of closing, we noticed that this guy switched out the washing machine, claiming that the one that was supposed to come with the house broke. Who does this?!?! What a childishly crooked thing to do!!! I didn’t believe it then—and I still don’t— but in the end, I wasn’t going to let my family go homeless over a washing machine. So I just kind of seethed internally for a while.
I’m going to break one of the fundamental principles of hermeneutics for this morning’s devotional—the principle that if it’s not in the text, don’t make stuff up! That being said, am I the only one who has a hard time believing that Jacob didn’t realize that Laban had pulled the old bait and switch on him during his wedding night? Yes, I know they didn’t have electricity back then, but how dark was it in their tent? Pitch black—like 100 feet deep in a cave kind of darkness? I know times were different then, so I don’t expect Jacob to get all Song of Songs romantic, but didn’t he even say “Hi” to her that night or any kind of conversation beforehand? What kind of a “pig” doesn’t even talk to his wife on their wedding night? Without getting too graphic, wouldn’t you expect a bride who was about to consummate her wedding to at least take off her veil, and even if she didn’t, wouldn’t Jacob have been able to tell that this woman did not have strong eyes, that she clearly had “weak eyes”? What’s the point of mentioning her eyes (v. 17), if they don’t help you tell the difference between Leah and her sister?