The AMI QT Devotionals from March 6-12 are provided by Pastor Mark Chun of Radiance Christian Church in S. F. Mark, a graduate of University of California, San Diego, and Talbot School of Theology (M.Div.), has been married to Mira for 20 years; they have two children, Jeremiah and Carissa.
DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT FOR TODAY
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 (ESV):
To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Surprisingly, surveys reveal that the divorce rate for Christian marriages is comparable to that of non-believers, approximately 50%. I believe that the reason for these high numbers is two-fold: First, some Christians don’t understand the importance of marriage and don’t give it the proper honor, and so they marry unwisely. Second, we don’t take seriously the commands regarding divorce and don’t realize that most cases of divorce are prohibited by the Scriptures. Outside of sexual immorality and unfaithfulness to the marriage covenant, there are no other grounds for divorce. Irreconcilable differences, incompatibility, falling out of love cannot be used before God as an excuse for divorce. Even Christians who are married to non-believers are commanded to stay in their marriages.
Jesus lived in a male dominated society, and so the right to divorce was given only to men. This is why there is no discussion regarding the rights of women to start the divorce process. In our culture, however, women can initiate divorce, and so we need to look at what valid reasons there are for Christian women to divorce. In my understanding, there are two reasons for women to dissolve their marriages: The first obviously is sexual unfaithfulness, but the second is abuse at the hands of their husbands. Abuse is a clear violation of the marriage covenant because the husband is no longer protecting the weaker vessel. According to 1 Peter 3:7, the duty of every husband is to honor woman as the weaker partner. And before our women get overly sensitive or offended, this passage is alluding to weakness in the physical sense. It’s clear that Peter isn’t talking about spiritual or intellectual superiority, because he mentions women as co-heirs with men in the grace of life. Peter’s main focus is for men to treat their wives with respect, which would include protecting them physically. To abuse one’s wife is a clear violation against the marriage covenant, and it is biblical grounds for divorce. Beyond these two circumstances, there are no other valid reasons for divorce.
Now why does God have such stringent requirements for marriage? Doesn’t God want us to be happy? And if I’m not happy, why can’t I just leave? It’s here that we have to realize that marriage is not only for the benefit of man and woman but also for the glory of God. I know that it is difficult to see that connection in our day-to-day lives, but the Christian marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. Therefore, our witness to the world is dependant on the health of our marriages. In a world that is questioning the very institution of marriage and redefining its limits, the Christian commitment to marriage as a life-long covenant between one man and one woman is needed more than ever.
Prayer: Lord, help us to honor the institution of marriage as a gift of common grace from Your hand. If we are unmarried, give us the strength to remain sexually pure until the day of our marriage. If we are married, help us to honor the vows that we have made before You and before one another. If by circumstance we are divorced, help us to find healing and restoration through the love of Christ. Amen.
Bible Reading for Today: Revelation 18
LUNCH BREAK STUDY
Read Malachi 2:13-16(ESV): And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Questions to Consider
- Why does God sometimes reject the offerings of his people?
- Why is Christian marriage so important in the eyes of God?
- What does God want for our marriages?
Notes
- God desires obedience over sacrifice; and in this case, many of the Israelites had divorced their wives in order to marry other women who were leading them towards the worship of foreign gods.
- Christian marriage is important because God gives a portion of His Spirit to bless each union between a man and a woman.
- Unless you are physically unable, God desires godly offspring from our marriages. God’s desire is that we honor Him with the raising of children who would be taught in the ways of the Lord.
EVENING REFLECTION
Spend some time praying for the marriages and families that you know, in and outside of your church. Perhaps, there is a couple going through difficult times in their marriage or dealing with a wayward child. If you are going through a hard season in your marriage, pray and reach out to a friend or a pastor for counsel.
Most cultures and people have a very high view of marriage. In the movie Jerry McGuire, Tom Cruise who plays the main character tells Renee Zellweger, “You complete me.” I’ve come to realize that this is not just romantic sentiment, but it is something that is believed by many people: life is not complete and you are not a complete person until you have found a person for marriage. In our generation of postponed marriage, divorce, and singleness, this societal expectation has become a great point of pain and anxiety. Yet in this passage, Paul reminds us that the relationship between a man and a woman does not make a person complete. I want you to consider these following points from Rediscovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood:
I am generally not strong with presentation, nor do I much care about it. So when I give presents, they will often come in the retailer’s bag where I purchased it (sometimes with the receipt still in it). When I cook dinner, it will generally have a bachelor’s meal look to it (think Denny’s, not fine dining). As a practical person, I’ll give myself the excuse that I’m more concerned with the quality of the gift, taste of the meal, or heart of the man than I am with the externals.
My oldest son has a unique gift: he can watch anything—and I mean anything—on television. Obviously, he has his favorites—like cartoons and all things related to Star Wars—but I could be watching a home improvement show, nature show, sitcom, drama, he’ll come, sit on the couch, and watch attentatively with me. I kid you not, after the election, I watched lots of news, and he was all over that as well. You know where he gets this gift? From his old man. You see, I understand my son because he is just like me—I too can watch anything on TV. The other day I was watching Avatar, and my wife looked at me, laughed and asked, “Why are you watching that stupid movie? You hate it.” (Sorry, if you liked that movie, but she’s right, I do hate it.) I had no good explanation, so I think I said, “Because it’s on.” Perhaps there is something in our DNA that is attracted to the movements, flickering lights and sounds of the TV, but we are like moths drawn to the flame.
When I was living in Philadelphia, to save money on rent, let’s just say that I didn’t live in the cleanest of places—that is, I’ve had my share of cockroaches. Now, if you’ve ever had roaches in your place, then you’ve probably learned the phenomenon of being “afraid of the lights”: it’s when you enter a room and turn on the lights and see several cockroaches scurry away to hide, you become a little disturbed and you almost don’t want to turn on the lights again. You’ve become afraid of the lights. Many will overcome this by turning on the lights before physically entering the room. Almost everyone I know thinks that roaches are disgusting, ugly, vile creatures, and when we see one, our instinct is to kill it immediately.
I didn’t realize it until this winter that I don’t like travelling to other countries—especially if I can’t speak the language. Don’t get me wrong, I like visiting new places and experiencing new cultures, but what I hate is not knowing if I’m have been taken advantage of when it comes to money. I always feel like the souvenir vendor is overcharging me, the cab driver got me for like five times what he charges locals, or that I paid for beef but what I really got was squirrel—basically, I hate getting taken advantage of. Now my wife, who has to deal with my poutiness after I make a bad deal, will often try to cheer me up with things like, “You would’ve paid more for that in the States,” or “Think of that guy, he probably has a family, and you just made his week.” That silly talk never brings me any comfort since money is only about 25% of the issue. The rest of the issue is that when I have been taken advantage of—I feel powerless and stupid. I imagine the guy who just ripped me off bragging to his friend, “See that chump over there? I just traded him these five ‘magic’ beans for his last cow and he gave me $100. Americans are so stupid! Hahaha.”
Perhaps because I am Asian, I have high expectations for my oldest child. I realize that I am being a bit unfair to Simon, my oldest, but oftentimes he will get yelled at for doing something that his younger siblings wouldn’t be scolded for. I often hold him accountable and am unsympathetic when he allows his brother to get into his stuff and makes a mess of it. For example, the other day, Simon comes running to me in fury: “Look what Jonny did to my Lego set that took me a week to build!” I responded, “Who left it on the ground for him to get at? If you value your stuff and don’t want your siblings to wreck it, put them away where they can’t reach them.” Truthfully, I don’t know if this is the best parenting—I’m just trying my best.
I’d say football is probably the ultimate team sport; and if you are an avid football fan like me, you might have noticed that Terrell Owens (T.O.), for the second year in a row, did not get voted in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. On paper, this is an outrage; T.O. ranks 2nd and 3rd in all-time yardage and touchdowns, respectively, by a receiver in football history. One could make an intelligent argument that T.O. is one of the five greatest receivers in football history. In the end, I have no doubt that he’ll eventually get into the Hall of Fame, but for now, voters are making a statement: you can’t act like a selfish, ornery child for most of your career and expect to be immediately granted football’s highest honor.
Like many women who are approaching middle-age, my wife loves the movie Dirty Dancing (I don’t know if my wife will be too happy that I classified her as “approaching middle-age,” but I’m rolling with it). In fact, around my birthday she suggested that we go watch the 30th anniversary of the film as it was released in select theaters for one weekend only! Obviously, I was not too thrilled at the prospects of being trapped in a movie theater filled with middle-aged women watching Dirty Dancing on my birthday. Anyway, if you haven’t seen the movie, it’s got a pretty classic plot: idealistic, innocent, nice girl, nicknamed Baby (Jennifer Grey) falls for bad boy dance instructor Johnny (Patrick Swayze). Yes, I did just write “bad boy dance instructor”!
After my parents’ divorce when I was 9 years old, I quickly had to grow up and take on adult responsibilities, such as caring for my little brother, comforting my depressed mother, and figuring out ways to reduce the utility bills. With many years of carrying these burdens, I really enjoyed the freedom I experienced after graduating high school and leaving home. I would play and stay out late, but I also became very involved in church and ministry, investing a lot of time into my younger sisters. I enjoyed this lifestyle so much that the idea of marriage and having a man to take care of was not appealing to me. I wanted to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, with whomever I wanted. For the next 20 years, I went into and out of many relationships. And, in my explanation to others as to why I broke up with my boyfriend/fiancé, I used the noble excuse of, “Oh, I wanted to have more impact for the Kingdom of God. I need my freedom to give more time to the church and to my sisters. Marriage will reduce my impact because I would have to worry about my husband and domestic responsibilities.”